Confidence or Collapse: The Impact of Parents on Young Athletes

26 Aug

Written By Joey Wright

When a parent approaches me at Shoot HQ, one of the first things they often ask about is confidence.

“My child is a good player, but they don’t believe in themselves.”

“They shut down when things get tough.”

“They’re not as vocal as other kids.”

Confidence is a massive topic in youth basketball - and it’s one that parents play a bigger role in than they often realise. The way you support (or pressure) your child can either lift them up or hold them back.

I’ve been around this game long enough - from my childhood in the US to decades coaching at the professional level in the NBL - to see the best and worst of youth development. And I’ll be honest: many of the “toxic” behaviours we see in young athletes don’t start with the kids themselves. They start at home.

The Role Parents Play in Basketball Development

Parents are the most important influence in a young athlete’s journey. You set the tone - how your child approaches the game, how they respond to setbacks, and how they interact with teammates and coaches.

When parents show up supportive, balanced, and encouraging, kids tend to thrive. When parents are overly critical, push too hard, or model poor behaviour, kids either shut down or - worse - mirror that behaviour themselves.

This is where we see the rise of what I call “me first” players. These are kids who put themselves above the team, chase highlight plays instead of fundamentals, or tear others down to make themselves look better. And often, it’s because they’ve watched the adults in their life do the same.

The Cost of Toxic Behaviour

Every coach has seen it: one player dominates the ball, ignores instructions, blames teammates when things go wrong, and argues with referees.

The hidden damage?

The quieter, hardworking kids stop speaking up.
The team’s culture breaks down.
Players who could have been great start doubting themselves because they feel undervalued.

This is why I believe parent development is just as important as player development. Parents shape how kids see the game, how they treat others, and how they respond to pressure. If we want to grow confident, resilient athletes, it starts with the example set at home.

Building Confidence in Young Athletes

So how can parents best support their child’s basketball journey? Here are some lessons I’ve learned from decades in the game.

Celebrate Effort, Not Just Outcomes: too often, parents focus only on points scored or games won. But confidence grows when kids know their effort is valued. Praise their hustle, their defense, their unselfish pass. These habits build long-term success, even if they don’t show up on a stat sheet.
Let Coaches Coach: One of the most damaging behaviours I see is parents shouting instructions from the sidelines, often contradicting what the coach has asked for. This leaves the child confused and anxious, trying to please both sides. Support your child by trusting the process - and save the encouragement for after the game.
Avoid Comparisons: Comparing your child to teammates, siblings, or other players is a confidence killer. Every athlete develops at their own pace. Focus on their journey, not someone else’s highlight reel.
Model Resilience: When things don’t go their way - a tough loss, limited minutes, or a bad call - kids look to their parents for how to react. If you show calm, perspective, and respect, they’ll learn to do the same.
Encourage Balance: Basketball should be part of a child’s life, not their whole identity. Encourage them to enjoy other sports, hobbies, and friendships. This creates healthier, more confident athletes who don’t tie their self-worth only to performance. That said, it’s important to acknowledge that athletes striving to reach the upper 1% of professional sport often won’t - and don’t need to maintain this type of balance. For them, the game becomes their safe place and primary focus. We’ll explore this distinction further in a future article.

Why Confidence Matters More Than Talent

In my career, I’ve seen countless talented athletes who never reached their potential - not because they lacked ability, but because they lacked belief. At the same time, I’ve seen less naturally gifted players go on to achieve incredible things simply because they had the confidence to keep working, keep learning, and keep competing.

Confidence is the engine that drives improvement. It gives kids the courage to take the open shot, to speak up as a leader, to push through fatigue when others give up. Parents who nurture confidence set their kids up not just for basketball success, but for success in life.

A Challenge to Parents

If you’ve read this far, here’s my challenge: take a look at your own behaviour.

Do you support your child’s effort, or only their results?
Do you encourage their teammates, or only cheer for your own kid?
Do you complain about referees, or model respect for the game?
Do you push your child to be their best, or push them to meet your expectations?

The truth is, kids will often do what they see, not just what they’re told. If we want to raise confident, respectful athletes, parents have to set that standard first.

At Shoot HQ in Adelaide and Melbourne, I see my role as more than just teaching basketball skills. Alongside Adam Gibson, our coaching isn’t just about drills and games - it’s about creating an environment where kids feel supported, challenged, and encouraged to grow in confidence.

For some kids, that means refining their fundamentals. For others, it means helping them find their voice and believe in themselves. And for parents, it means being part of a community that values development over ego, teamwork over individualism, and character over stats.

Basketball is a game, but it’s also a classroom for life. Confidence, resilience, teamwork, respect - these lessons last far longer than any season. Parents who approach the journey with balance and perspective not only help their children become better players but also better people.

So the next time you’re watching your child on the court, remember: your influence matters. The habits you model today could be the difference between a kid who shuts down and a kid who steps up.

At Shoot HQ, we’re passionate about helping young athletes develop both skill and confidence in a positive, supportive environment. If you’d like to explore how our coaching in Adelaide and Melbourne can support your child’s basketball journey, simply fill out the form below and we’ll be in touch.

About Shoot HQ

Shoot HQ is a premier basketball training facility with two locations - Beverley in Adelaide, and Notting Hill in Melbourne. Whether you’re a young athlete chasing your basketball dreams, a parent supporting your child’s development, or a casual player looking to get shots up, Shoot HQ offers something for everyone.

Our memberships provide access to state of the art training courts, shooting machines, and gym facilities. We also offer casual court hire, school holiday clinics, basketball birthday parties, and development programs designed to build confidence and ability at every level. For athletes ready to take the next step, our elite coaching team - led by ex-NBL head coach Joey Wright and Olympian Adam Gibson - brings world class experience to the court.

At Shoot HQ, we’re here to help athletes of all ages train smarter, play harder, and enjoy the game they love.